My Next Journey

 分享: 下一個旅程

這個暑假, 我用了一個月的時間讓自己好好休息. 好久沒有看那麼多電視了. 也很久很久沒有什麼都不做. 也很久很久沒有擔心功課還沒做完. 還真的不習慣. 只從2008換科系開始讀教育執照到碩士, 再來, 2012暑假買了往返機票（擔心教不好可以隨時飛回美國）冒險到台灣入住可以隨時離開的住所．後來心定下後開始專心修練"教學" 這門功夫，一心嚮往把學校的每一件事做到最好，也沒有什麼競爭之心．和自己說：做錯，就改進．做好，那不能自滿，要不斷的想怎麼更好．就堅持這教書工作態度到至今．很幸運地，也在貴人的協助下，在2021秋季完成 了我曾以為是一個遙不可及的博士學位.已經半年多了，我始終還沒有完全相信這已成事實． 我也在納悶那聽我發表文章的五位教授考官是這麼聽懂我這說話特快又不清楚的創作．前幾天，助教也發電子郵件和我們說教授九月底有邀請到香檳大學聊聊聚聚．五月沒有參加畢業典禮可能讓他們有一點失望 ．那時，我還夢到兩位主要教授親自指導我下一張論文．標題我還記得．有一點不可思議因為也是我進來在研究的．至於會不會繼續和兩位教授切磋，幾率不是很大因為在大學當一位長期研究生或者助教什麼的不是我嚮往的．更別提其他了.

現在, 我的＂下一個旅程＂漸漸從我腦裡浮現．(以後在分享. )＂下一個旅程＂-- 這不代表去一個什麼地方或者換一個自己以為是更好的環境．＂下一個旅程＂也可以在同一所學校同一個地方找到．一切的思索從內心裡找尋應該會發覺一些更不一樣的．不斷的從外在的方向去找，我想．．．永遠都找不到也永遠不會滿足．我想這是我們人類往往過不去的困境．

明日就是八月的開始. 也是我要準備回到認真開工的第一天．很期待，再過一個禮拜和七年級同學碰面．

The Way to Rid Bad Habits

The way to rid bad habits is to build new ones.

Transforming negative, disturbing emotions to positive thinking 

• anger - breath, slow down, maintain silence, clear the mind, organize the mind, think before speaking ------SWEEP THE HOUSE AND CLASSROOM
• sadness - watch comedies, engage in creativity, study, read, pray, call Khenpo
• disappointment -  look at my own actions that caused others' reaction making you feel disappointed - then stop thinking because you started it! 
• making assumptions leading to wrong actions triggering incorrect views upon all parties - NO SECOND THOUGHT! IT IS VERY DANGEROUS! NO MONKEY MIND!
• attachment to good and bad feelings - release yourself to these feelings right away - they are all illusions 

NEW HABITS

• smile at friends and enemies alike and remain silent when necessary.
• observe the situation and then decide whether you can help or not
• children must be helped - paid or not paid - doesn't matter
• If I cannot help adults, then I can teach Khenpo, who is more wise and can help the adults. 
• Let go of negative emotions. Don't let them fill and control your mind. 
• When the monkey mind begins to grow, recite mantras - turn on music!

Transforming unhealthy eating  to healthy eating so death will be less painful  in the long run

• pizza - No pizza!
• French fries - No French fries!
• McDonald's - No McDonald's!
• fried chicken - No fried chicken!
• sugared drinks - No sugared drinks! No even Yakult or brown sugar!
• no FRIED food - TRY!

• Water! Water! Water! Water! Water!
• balance meat intake - chicken, beef, and then pork - avoid fatty foods
• Vegetables - all, more and more every day - shop for greens and finish them as the MAIN MEAL!
• Fruits - be selective - apples, bananas, blueberries, watermelon
• no sugar Apple cider vinegar

Awareness from Within

A gust of wind blows across the cold sea;

White clouds from above mask the land;

The monsoons take away every grain of sand.

The ever-changing warm and cold seasons...

What a vibrant life...

with withered traces, slowly dissipating...

No forewarning, the tears of the clouds fall again.

The light of a match burns in the dark.

Maybe the unknown fate is unpredictable.

It flies like a meteor without knowing its purpose.

But I am willing to believe.

The smallest, weakest, softest and most fearless you.

I tried my best to respond.

No limit, no end, no solution!

There is still a thin line of hope!

Light up yourself!

Don't listen to the restless, bustling leaves hollering in the forest.

A smoky fog reappears.

This is the final story as I sit calmly in the lush pavilion.

Six hundred years have passed,

yet a grain of hope in the vast sea still remains!

An endless "wheel” spins tirelessly;

To rise above all illusions.

The Cloud Never Dies

 

Lesson

The "open awareness" in our state of mind is the sky that never changes.  The changing clouds in the sky -- coming, going, dissolving-- is our emotions.  The cloud never dies. Sometimes, there are beautiful clouds. Sometimes, there are ugly clouds.  Even when there is a thunderstorm or tornado or even beautiful sunshine, the nature of the sky does not change. The sky is always free--pure--the very existence of awareness.  Building a strong sense of awareness that supersedes emotions can help us subdue aimless thoughts and maintain clarity. 

In essence, there is no need to focus on building good emotions or stopping bad emotions. Embrace positive and negative emotions with equanimity and composure. 

Universal Loving Kindness

Lesson

In this life, we will meet many kinds of sentient beings -- people dear to us and enemies that will bring troubled thoughts to our minds obscuring us from seeing clearly. To liberate all attachments to what we see, hear, and feel about the unending karmic cycle, we need to practice and cultivate the "universal loving kindness" of not discriminating the difference between kind acts that bring us joy and hostile, ignorant acts of humans that cause disturbing and unending negative emotions. These emotions can range from temporary happiness, anger, and sadness acquired from external attachments. Our greed, desire, and dissatisfaction are the poisons that may result from such emotions. Therefore, when we free and devoid ourselves from these karmic obscurations, we can see everything more clearly from our inner-self and, eventually, our outer-self.

Reflection

The most challenging part of this lesson is protecting our minds and hearts from these disturbing emotions caused by our inner selves who wish the external world to satisfy our wishes. We need to build a strong mind and heart to help ourselves from within and not depend on or expect the outer world to help us. Therefore, it is important to change our views by examining our own actions when we cannot change others' views. As every thought and feeling is ephemeral, there is no need to let negative emotions disturb us for a very long time. All further speculations will only cloud our minds and heart, preventing us from maintaining physical and mental stability. If we cherish all celebrations and forgive any unexpected human act that caused disappointment, anger, or sadness, our mind and heart can find peace and refuge.